Totally Randomness
by Twitter-hikari95
Summary: The hikaris ask their darks some questions. Not for die-hard YGO fans. Complete crack that was written early in the morning! Yaoi, implied lemon, think that's it. ENJOY! YY/Y M/M B/R S/J
1. Chapter 1

Ohayo! Enjoy!

Yami Marik is Malik and not possessed Marik is Marik.

**Disclaimer: Don't wanna have it!**** Don't wanna have it!**** Don't wanna have it!**** Don't wanna have it!** (is that emphatic enough for you?)

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><p>Joey and the hikaris looked at Seto and the yamis in disbelief.<p>

"So, let me get this straight," Yugi said. "You're vampires, and over 3000 years old?"

"Except for me," Seto interjected. "I was changed when I was twelve, at Gozaburo's orders. By Bakura, ironically."

The pale vampire snickered. "Yeah, that's about it." An uncomfortable silence fell over the room, until Ryou cleared his throat.

"So, what's fact, concerning you guys?"

The vampired all grimaced. "More like what's myth." Malik grumbled. "Just start tossing out stuff."

"Garlic, crosses and running water?" Yugi jumped to ask the first questions excitedly. Yami laughed. "Only if we don't care for nasty breath, no, only if you're aquaphobic."

"Coffins or bats?" Marik was more cautious in his questioning.

Malik shook his head. "No, only the traditionalists hold to that sort of thing."

…...

Another silence descended until Ryou, shy British boy, Ryou, broke it. "Does feeding turn you on?"

Bakura leered at his light, Yami and Seto sighed and Malik snickered. Yugi and Joey were looking at the white-haired boy in shock while Marik shook his head.

"It's always the quiet ones."

Malik nodded. "It's like a rush of energy that's hitting your senses. Quite addictive, actually. And it makes our targets more affable if they cum once or twice during our feeding."

"But it probably tastes sweeter when you know the host," mused Joey.

"Why Puppy," Seto purred. "Are you offering?"

"Hmm, wha-? EEK!" Joey squealed as Seto pounced and started devouring his mouth. Yami cleared his throat politely. Seto growled until he saw that they had an audience. Another growl later, and he had transported himself and his pup to the Kaiba mansion.

~Back at the Game shop~

It was only Yugi and Yami left. Bakura and Malik had snatched their lights up and transported to wherever it was that they were going to have sex. Yugi felt their absence acutely, especially with Yami eying him like he was a steak to eat.

"So, Aibou." Yugi eeped as he felt sharp teeth graze the edge of his ear. "What d you say we finish this conversation upstairs?"

Yugi nodded in agreement and Yami shadow-stepped to their room.

They didn't leave for hours later.

Say, Seto," Joey murmured. "I...I do have one more question."

Seto nuzzled between Joey's shoulder blades and hummed. Joey plunged forward.

"Do...do you sparkle in the sunlight?"

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><p>Hehe, I guess you want to know why I haven't posted a next chap of Hawk and the Jewel...I'm stuck. But I'm hoping that this will tide you over 'til later today, (or this week -.-; ) I really don't know <em>where<em> this came from. Actually, this is the first time I've written anything remotely like a crack-fic or parody.

**Yami Twitterpated:**(Translation) Twitter-hikari was reading some Puppyshipping story with vampires in it, and this plot parrot (yes, a parrot, cuz parrots talk, and bunnies don't. Though she do get the occassional plot bunny.) Any-who, the plot parrot said, _'what if the Seme's were vamps, and one of the hikaris asked if they sparkle.' _So, yeah.

Twitterpated: O.o Since _when_ do I have a _Yami?_

_Yugi:_ Since you decided to write this in the span of 20 minutes. At the ungodly hour of three AM

Twitterpated: o.o I did it that fast?

_Yugi_**/Yami Twitterpated:** *nods*

Twitter: *sway and falls* (passed out)**  
><strong>

**Yami Twitterpated:** *Catches Twitterpated* Since poor Twitter is now sleeping on her feet, I will finish. Please review. Twitter-hikari has an idea for a part two, but she needs your input.

Ja ne!

**Yami Twitterpated**


	2. Chapter 2

Have Fun reading!

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><p>Seto barged into the librarystudy with an infuriated roar. Mokuba reached out with his hand to catch the vase without looking up from his book.

"So, he asked the question then?" Mokuba's voice was nonchalant. Seto spun around and snarled before settling into his wing-backed chair behind the desk.

"_Yes_, but where he would get such a moronic idea? Please, sparkling in the sunlight. I mean, you didn't know that I was a vampire until you stumbled across the frozen blood-pacs that I keep in the back freezer." All was quiet until Seto jumped up from the chair he had sat in not too long ago. "I bet that it was that bastard thief. Him and the psycho tomb-keeper." And Seto teleported away.

Mokuba settled back onto the overstuffed armchair. Of course, if Seto had know that it was his little brother's fault then there would be hell to pay. Mokuba shrugged. It wasn't _his_ fault that Joey had seen the book on his night stand. Wasn't even his. Serenity had forgotten them when she had come to show him the little fallacies that the woman had written.

He snorted. Please, did _he_ look like a 23 year old in steroids? Did _he_ go running around without a shirt on? No-thank-you-very-much! But boy did they ever have high metabolisms. Which reminded him; Serenity was due back from the store with steaks for dinner tonight!

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><p>Sooo...am I in trouble? I swear that it was not a planned interlude, and that I will have the next chapter of Hawk and Puzzle out soon. This just demanded to be written and *whack*<p>

**Yami Twitterpated:** **She's just been busy. Her mom got a boyfriend and it's looking serious and then Twitter-hikari is planning on going to New Zealand.** *peers at Twitter*  
><strong>I didn't hit her too hard did I?<strong>

Mokuba: Nah. She'll be fine. Anywho, hope that you lot had a great Christmas and-

HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR! *Twitter twitches _no...not the plot parrots...noooooo*_

**Yammi Twitterpated: ...ja ne**


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